My Maddie Read online

  My Maddie

  A Hades Hangmen Novel

  Tillie Cole

  Copyright© Tillie Cole 2020 All rights reserved

  Copyedited by Thomas Lindsay

  Formatted by Stephen Jones

  Cover Design by www.Damonza.com

  ebook Edition

  No Part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photography, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system without the prior written consent from the publisher and author, except in the instance of quotes for reviews. No part of this book may be uploaded without the permission of the publisher and author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is originally published.

  This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, actual events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters and names are products of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

  The publisher and author acknowledge the trademark status and trademark ownership of all trademarks, service marks and word marks mentioned in this book.

  Table of Contents

  Glossary

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Epilogue

  Glossary

  (Not in alphabetical order)

  The Order Terminology

  The Order: Apocalyptic New Religious Movement. Beliefs based on selected Christian teachings, strongly believe the apocalypse is imminent. Previously led by Prophet David (declared himself to be a Prophet of God and a descendant of King David), the elders and the disciples. Succeeded by Prophet Cain (nephew of Prophet David).

  The members live together in a secluded commune; based on traditional and modest living, polygamy and unorthodox religious practices. Believe the ‘outside world’ is sinful and evil. Have no contact with non-members.

  Commune: Property owned by The Order and controlled by Prophet Cain. Segregated living community. Policed by disciples and elders and stocked with weapons in case of an outside world attack. Men and women kept in separate areas of the commune. The Cursed kept away from all men (except the elders) in their own private quarters. Land protected by a large perimeter fence.

  New Zion: New Commune of The Order. Created after the previous commune was destroyed in the battle against The Hades Hangmen.

  The Order’s Elders (Original Commune): Comprises four men: Gabriel (deceased), Moses (Deceased), Noah (deceased), Jacob (deceased), Charged with the day-to-day running of the commune. Second in Command to Prophet David (deceased). Responsible for schooling the Cursed.

  New Zion Council Elders: Men of elevated status in New Zion. Appointed by Prophet Cain.

  Prophet’s Hand: Position held by Brother Judah (deceased).

  Second in command to Prophet Cain. Shares in the running of New Zion and any religious, political or military decisions concerning The Order.

  Disciple Guards: Male members of The Order. Tasked with the protection of the commune lands and the members of The Order.

  Lord’s Sharing: Ritual sexual act performed between male and female members of The Order. Believed to help the male get steadily closer to the Lord. Performed in mass ceremonies. Narcotics often used for a transcendental experience. Females are forbidden from experiencing pleasure as punishment for carrying the original sin of Eve and must perform the act when required as part of their sisterly duties.

  Awakening: Rite of Passage in The Order. On a girl’s eighth birthday, she is to be sexually ‘awakened’ by a commune member or, on special occasions, an Elder.

  Sacred Circle: Religious practice exploring the notion of ‘free love’. Sexual intercourse and behavior with many partners in a public setting.

  Sacred Sister: A chosen woman of The Order, tasked with leaving the commune to spread The Order’s message by sexual means.

  The Cursed: Women/Girls in The Order deemed too naturally beautiful and inherently sinful. Live separately from the rest of commune. Seen as too tempting to men. The Cursed are believed to be significantly more likely to sway men from the righteous path.

  Original Sin: Augustine Christian doctrine that says mankind is born sinful and has an innate urge to disobey God. Original Sin is the result of Adam and Eve’s disobedience of God when they ate the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. In The Order’s doctrines (created by Prophet David), Eve is blamed for tempting Adam to sin, thus sisters of The Order are seen as born seductresses and temptresses and must therefore obey men.

  Sheol: Old Testament word meaning ‘the pit’ or ‘the grave’ or ‘the Underworld’. Place of the dead.

  Glossolalia: Incomprehensible speech displayed by religious believers during an episode of religious ecstasy. Embracing the Holy Spirit.

  Diaspora: The dispersion of people from their original homeland.

  Hill of Perdition: Hill on the outskirts of the commune. Used for seclusions of New Zion’s inhabitants and for punishments.

  Devil’s Men: Reference to the Hades Hangmen MC.

  Prophet’s Consort: Female chosen by Prophet Cain to aid him sexually. Elevated status in New Zion.

  Prophet’s Head Consort: Appointed by Prophet Cain. Elevated status in New Zion. Closest consort to the prophet. Sexual partner of choice.

  Celestial Meditation: The act of spiritual sexual intercourse. Believed in and practiced by members of The Order. Reaching a closer connection to God through sexual release.

  Repatriation: To bring back a person to his or her country or land. The Repatriation of The Order involves bringing back all the members of the faith to New Zion from foreign communes.

  First Touch: The first act of sexual intercourse with a virginal female.

  Hades Hangmen Terminology

  Hades Hangmen: One-percenter Outlaw MC. Founded in Austin, Texas, 1969.

  Hades: Lord of the Underworld in Greek mythology.

  Mother Chapter: First branch of the club. Founding location.

  One-percenter: The American Motorbike Association (AMA) were once rumored to have said that 99% of bikers were law-abiding citizens. Bikers who do not abide by AMA rules name themselves ‘one-percenters’ (the remaining non law-abiding 1%). The vast majority of ‘one-percenters’ belong to Outlaw MC’s.

  Cut: Leather vest worn by outlaw bikers. Adorned with patches and artwork displaying the club’s unique colors.

  Patched in: When a new member is approved for full membership.

  Church: Club meetings for full patch members. Led by President of the club.

  Old Lady: Woman with wife status. Protected by her partner. Status held to be sacrosanct by club members.

  Club Slut: A woman who comes to the clubhouse to engage in casual sexual acts with the club members.

  Bitch: Woman in Biker culture. Term of endearment

  Gone/Going to Hades: Slang. Referring to the dying/dead.

  Meeting/Gone/Going to the Boatman: Slang. Dying/dead. Referring to ‘Charon’ in Greek mythology. Charon was the ferryman of the dead, an underworld daimon (Spirit). Transported departed souls to Hades. The fee for the crossing over the rivers Styx and Acheron to Hades were coins placed on either the dead’s eyes or mouth at burial. Those who did not pay the fee were left to wander the shores of Styx for one hundred years.
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  Snow: Cocaine.

  Ice: Crystal Meth.

  Smack: Heroin

  The Organizational Structure of Hades Hangmen

  President (Prez): Leader of the club. Holder of the Gavel, which is symbolic of the absolute power that the President wields. The Gavel is used to keep order in Church. The word of the President is law within the club. He takes advice from senior club members. No one challenges the decisions of the President.

  Vice President (VP): Second-in-Command. Executes the orders of the President. Principal communicator with other chapters of the club. Assumes all responsibilities and duties of the President in his absence.

  Road Captain: Responsible for all club runs. Researches, plans and organizes club runs and ride outs. Ranking club officer, answering only to President or VP.

  Sergeant-at-Arms: Responsible for club security, policing and keeping order at club events. Reports unseemly behavior to President and VP. Responsible for the safety and protection of the club, its members and its Prospects.

  Treasurer: Keeps records of all income and expenses. Keeps records of all club patches and colors issued and taken away.

  Secretary: Responsible for making and keeping all club records. Must notify members of emergency meetings.

  Prospect: Probationary member of the MC. Goes on runs, but banned from attending Church.

  Prologue

  Flame

  Years ago…

  I was cold. So cold. But I was always cold. The rough, freezing wood of my bedroom wall scraped along my back, along the bones that stuck out of my skin. I hadn’t eaten in… I couldn’t remember. I pressed my hands against my stomach. It kept making sounds, telling me it was hungry. But my poppa said I would be having no food. He wouldn’t feed the devil.

  I was naked except for my underwear. My poppa said sinners like me didn’t wear clothes. He said that the evil inside my veins was warm enough. I didn’t want to be evil. I didn’t mean to be, but my poppa told me I was anyway. That’s why other kids didn’t want to play with me, because they saw the blackness in my damned soul.

  I looked down at my arms and chest. They were covered in snake bite marks. I felt even colder as I thought of the snakes, of their teeth sinking into my flesh, commanded by Pastor Hughes to try to make me clean. But it wasn’t working. Nothing was working. I was too steeped in sin. Irredeemable, Poppa said. I didn’t know what irredeemable meant, but it sounded bad.

  I closed my eyes, but all I saw was poppa earlier tonight, staggering toward me as I sat in the corner of my bedroom. I had no furniture in here. Poppa had removed my bed weeks ago, so I slept on the floor. I had no blankets, no pillow. He said I didn’t deserve them.

  The door to my bedroom slammed open. I could smell the alcohol on my poppa’s breath from across the room. He took off his belt. I had only a second to curl into a ball before the leather cracked loudly across my back. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut. I knew I deserved this because I was evil. Because I had flames running through my blood. But it still hurt me…

  My poppa hit me until I couldn’t feel the pain. But I wanted the pain. I wanted the devil to leave me alone. Poppa grabbed my hair and pulled me to my feet. I didn’t cry out. The back of his hand sliced across my face, and I tasted blood. “Look at yourself,” he slurred, yanking on my hair until I looked up. I saw myself in the dirty mirror on the wall. I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see my face. The devil’s face. “I said look, cunt!” my poppa screamed, and I opened my eyes.

  Poppa smiled. I didn’t understand why. I didn’t understand why people smiled or why they frowned. I didn’t understand anything. People confused me. I didn’t know how to be around them or speak to them without scaring them away.

  My poppa hated that about me most.

  “Retard.” He squeezed my cheeks until the blood from his slap ran down my chin. I breathed out in relief. The escaping blood would help take away the flames. I needed to bleed to be saved.

  Poppa reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen. Tipping back my head, he began to draw on my forehead. My eyes watered. When he’d finished with my forehead, he moved to my back, my chest, my arms, then he put his mouth to my ear. “Retard.” His harsh voice made me shake. He prodded the tip of his finger into the word on my head. “Motherfucking retard!”

  I didn’t know what that word meant either. I knew it was bad. Some of the kids I used to try to play with would call me it. My poppa always called me it.

  “Get in the corner of the room and don’t move,” Poppa ordered. I heard him leave the house, heard his footsteps on the gravel path outside. I wrapped my arms around my legs. “Go,” I whispered to the fire in my veins. “Just leave me. Make him love me again. Make the flames in my blood go away.”

  God didn’t care for me. I was the devil’s child now. That’s what Pastor Hughes kept saying. I froze when I heard my mama in the living room singing. Mama had had another baby. I had a brother. Isaiah. I hadn’t seen him yet. Poppa hadn’t let me out of the room to meet him.

  I listened as my mama sang “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” When she sang, I didn’t feel the flames in my blood. I didn’t feel the demons in my soul or the devil watching me.

  I held my breath when Isaiah started to cry. Mama just kept singing, and he eventually stopped. My mama was kind. Poppa was bad to her too. I didn’t like it when he hurt her. But I didn’t know how to stop him.

  I heard footsteps coming to my door. My heart beat faster. I thought it was Poppa coming home already. But when the door opened, I saw it was my mama. I scurried farther back into the corner. Poppa had told me I wasn’t allowed to touch anyone. That my touch was evil and would harm others.

  I didn’t want to hurt my mama.

  I didn’t want to hurt my baby brother.

  “Baby…” Mama turned on the light. It hurt my eyes. I was used to the dark, not the light. Mama came closer. I saw my baby brother in her arms.

  “No,” I shouted, shaking my head, as she reached out her hand. “You can’t touch me. Please…” Mama started crying. I didn’t want her to cry. She was too pretty to cry.

  Mama pulled back her hand but sat on the floor in front of me. “Baby...” Mama pointed at the words on my body, and tears fell down her cheeks. It made my chest ache.

  A teardrop fell from her face, and my baby brother moved in her arms. My eyes dropped to him. Mama smiled and pushed down the blanket so I could see him better. He was tiny. “Your baby brother,” she whispered. I checked his face. I didn’t know if he looked like me. I didn’t want him to. I didn’t want flames to run in his veins too. I didn’t want Poppa to hurt him, for Pastor Hughes to put snakes on him.

  “Isaiah.” Mama shuffled closer.

  “Don’t.” I pressed myself against the wall. Mama stopped, and when I knew she wasn’t coming closer, I looked at my brother again. He was watching me.

  “He knows you,” Mama said.

  I swallowed the strange lump that was in my throat. “He does?”

  “Because you’re his big brother, Josiah. He knows you’ll always protect him.”

  “I will?” I didn’t know how. I was bad.

  “You’re not evil, baby,” Mama said. But it was because she didn’t understand what evil was. Poppa told me she didn’t. Suddenly, Isaiah lifted his hand, almost touching mine. I pulled my hand back. He was still looking at me. “He only wanted to hold your finger, baby. He wants to meet his big brother.”

  “Hold… hold my finger?”

  “Watch,” Mama said. She put her finger toward my brother, and he curled his hand around it. Mama smiled. “He only wants to say hello.”

  “I can’t.” I tucked my hands under my legs. I wanted to hold his hand. But I couldn’t hurt him. I couldn’t make him a sinner like me.

  “Baby,” my mama said.

  “Promise me…” She looked down at Isaiah and kissed his cheek. I wanted her to kiss my cheek too. But she couldn’t. I wouldn’t le
t her. No one could ever kiss my cheek.

  “Promise me you will always love your brother, Josiah. That you’ll always look after him. Protect him. It’s what big brothers do.”

  “I promise.”

  Mama started crying again. “One day, when you leave this place, take him with you. Keep him safe. And love him. Allow him to love you too. You both deserve it.”

  I didn’t know why she was saying these things. My poppa would never let me leave.

  “You’re not evil. You’re my precious little boy who just sees the world differently. It’s Poppa who doesn’t understand. You’re special and loved. So much, baby. Do you understand me? Do you believe me?” I nodded, but, really, I didn’t. “I love you. I will always love you, and Isaiah. Even when I’m not here. You are brothers, and brothers protect one another.” Mama looked down at Isaiah again. He was still holding her finger in his tiny hand. “And one day, when you feel brave, you might let him hold your finger too. You won’t hurt him, baby. I know you won’t.”

  I wanted to be brave. I wanted to be brave for Mama. But I couldn’t touch him. I couldn’t hurt him. Maybe one day, when the flames were gone and the devil had left my soul, I would finally let him hold my finger.

  Chapter One

  Flame

  Present day…

  “I swear, she had fuck-all gag reflex. She kept going and going, taking all the anaconda down her throat.” Viking whistled as we walked into the clubhouse. “I blacked out. I swear I fucking blacked out when she gripped my balls in her fist and I exploded into her mouth.” He nudged AK. “Rudge had her next. Said he lost the ability to speak for ten minutes afterwards. Slut was that good.”

  “Good to know, brother,” AK said, as he pushed open the door to church.

  “I know, right? You and Flame here may have permanent blue balls now you’re all glued to your ball-and-chains, but not me. Y’all can live vicariously through me.”